


You Can't Change The Past

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: 52 Weeks of Stories 2 [17]
Category: Hanson (Band), Michelle Branch (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drama, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, First Love, Implied Sexual Content, Infidelity, Love, Married Characters, Teen Angst, Teenage Drama, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-21 06:44:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17038733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: Taylor knew he shouldn't be on Natalie's doorstep when he was married to Michelle, yet here he was on her doorstep.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Awkward

Taylor took a deep breath as he stood outside on Natalie's porch. He was pretty sure it was awkward that he was here, he and Natalie had been broken up for months.

The relationship ending when he had told her about Michelle being pregnant. The girl who was just an opening act and someone they did music with and the girl Taylor had been seeing on the side. Then again he was seeing a lot of people on the side and not just Michelle.

Hell, not all of them were females either but he was a horny teenager. Still was a horny teenager and he had wanted to experience more than just his high school girlfriend. He could have anyone he wanted thanks to his fame and he had used it in his favor.

Now he was stuck with someone for the rest of his life or so the wedding band on his finger said and the person he was stuck with wasn't Natalie like he'd somehow foolishly always thought it would be even with his cheating.

He was married to Michelle because it was the proper thing to do with a baby on the way. He didn't love her but it was proper and he knew Michelle hoped he'd come to love her one day. Taylor wasn't sure he would not when he missed Natalie and felt like a piece of him was missing.

Which was why he was now standing on her porch just days away from his wife giving birth to their first child.

Taking a deep breath Taylor raised his hand to knock on the door. His nerves growing by the second after he had knocked, not sure what he'd say when her parents opened the door. If they opened the door.

He really hoped it was her but knowing his luck it probably wouldn't be her. Did anything ever go his way anymore?

It felt like it never did, it was one reason why he kept struggling with the urge to fall back onto old habits when the band was in LA working on the album. 

Knew it would be so easy to go out and get drugs, just to stop feeling anything. To stop missing Natalie, to stop feeling suffocated by Michelle, to stop feeling like everyone in his family thought he was a failure.

Hearing the door open up, Taylor swallowed hard when he looked up and came face to face with Natalie. His nerves somehow getting worse at just the sight of her.

"Taylor?" Natalie asked as her forehead crinkled in confusion, like she thought she was dreaming. "What are you doing here at midnight?"

Shrugging Taylor just kept looking at her despite his nerves, "Couldn't sleep," he said deciding maybe humor would be best. "So I decided to get on the next flight from Tulsa to Georgia."

Natalie rolled her eyes at his words and maybe humor hadn't been the best idea.

"Funny," she deadpanned as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Why are you really here? Shouldn't you be at home with your wife? I've heard she's due any day now," she spoke and Taylor didn't miss the bitterness in Natalie's voice.

He wasn't surprised she knew Michelle was so close to her due date. Natalie's best friend Kate was still dating Zac though Taylor sometimes wondered how long that would last now that he and Natalie were done. He felt like he and Natalie were always the glue that kept them together.

Taylor could have been wrong about it in the end. Time would tell about that.

Heaving a sigh Taylor ran a hand through his hair, "My wife is the reason I'm here," he said softly watching as confusion once again flashed on Natalie's face. "I don't love her and I miss you. I just..I wanted to see you Nat. Needed to see you one last time before I become a dad and my commitment to her and my family with her doubles down."

Natalie just stared at him as silence settled between then and any other time Taylor would have hated silence. God knew he hated the silence that happened between him and Michelle. It was always uncomfortable probably because there were a lot of things they never said that they should have.

Taylor should tell her his feelings for her would never change because a girl in Georgia had his heart but he figured sometimes it was best to keep some truths to himself.

"You shouldn't need to see me," Natalie told him as she finally uncrossed her arms. "You need to love your wife," she said though even her words sounded like a lie to his ears.

They were a lie, he knew that deep down but maybe she had to say them to make herself feel better. Taylor could understand that.

"I need too but I never will," Taylor said as he shrugged again, his hand going back to his hair to run through it. "Not when I still love you," he admitted so soft that he wasn't sure he said it or that Natalie heard it but as he watched her face soften some he knew she'd heard him.

Natalie knew that he still loved her and it was her he wanted in this moment. Not his wife who was back home and heavily pregnant with his daughter.

"Do you want to come inside?" Natalie asked finally as she moved some so he could come in if he wanted too. 

"Your parent won't mind?" he asked a bit apprehensively as he stepped inside almost expecting Jimmy or Pam to be there to run him off.

Natalie shook her head as she shut the door once he was in her house, "They're out of town for tonight for the next few days. I'm only here so I can pass out Halloween candy tomorrow for the kids. Otherwise I'd be at the dorms on campus," she told him and her words reminded Taylor that her life had moved on without him.

That she'd gone on to college and she was doing everything she wanted while Taylor was stuck forced to do what others expected of him.

The record label, his parents, Michelle.

"Right, you're in college now," he sighed as he looked at her again when she came to stand by him. "You're living the life you wanted."

"Not all of what I wanted," Natalie added on as she eyed him and Taylor knew he didn't even have to ask what she meant. She didn't have him just like he didn't have her.

"I'm sorry I fucked everything up," Taylor apologized sincerely because he was sorry. He just wished he'd been sorry sooner.

If he had, maybe he could have prevented things from getting this bad. Worn a condom with Michelle or not even gone as far as he did with her.

"Yeah well you can't change the past," Natalie told him with a sad smile. "All you can do is look towards the future," she said as her sad smile grew.

Taylor not even able to muster a smile because he didn't even want to think of the future.

"Enough talking though," Natalie said before Taylor could say anything. "It's late and you look like you could use the sleep," she told him with a knowing look. Taylor feeling his cheeks getting hot because he did need to sleep.

He hadn't slept well in months. His last night of sleeping well had probably been the night before finding out Michelle was pregnant.

Without saying anything in response Taylor just wordlessly followed Natalie up the stairs as she lead the way. His mind telling him that they'd just sleep after all Natalie had sounded sincere about him needing sleep.

But he wasn't sure he'd mind it if something else happened either. He just needed that connection with someone again. To feel not so alone anymore even if for a night.

When they made it to Natalie's room or what he guessed was her room sometimes since it seemed she was staying in dorms at her college, Taylor just watched as Natalie shut the door and when she reached for his hand he let her lead him to the bed where she pulled them both down.

Obviously not caring that either of them were still dressed in their clothes.

"I missed you Tay," Natalie whispered softly after she had positioned them beside each other on her bed. "I miss you and I think I needed to see you as well."

Smiling Taylor reached out to push hair off of Natalie's face, "So it's not bad I showed up here then?" he questioned her as their eyes locked and it took all he had not to close the gap and kiss her.

"Oh, I'm sure it's bad given the circumstances," Natalie answered as she chewed her lip briefly. "But I don't find it bad which probably makes me an awful person," she whispered and again before Taylor could say anything, tell her she wasn't awful her lips were on his in a kiss that was full of nothing but plain need and want.

Taylor's eyes falling shut as he kissed her back, his arm finding its way onto her waist as his hand slowly slid under her shirt and he knew from the way she bit down on his bottom lip as her hips moved into his that they'd be doing more than just sleeping.

Not that he'd complain because like he'd thought earlier he needed that connection with someone he loved. He needed to feel alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Waking the next morning Taylor opened his eyes slowly as a smile appeared on his lips when he saw Natalie's sleeping figure beside him. All the memories from last night coming back to him all at once.

How he'd shown up on her parents doorstep. How they'd talk, actually talked for the first time in months. Taylor saying things he hadn't dared say out loud to anyone else because no one else would get how he felt with Michelle. No one else got him like Natalie.

Which made him regret how he'd always treated her and somehow she'd let him back in somewhere in her heart last night. She'd let him in and they had made love for most of the night. Taylor not sure he'd ever felt that alive.

But he had and now, he wasn't sure he wanted to go back home to Michelle though he knew in the end he'd have too. She was pregnant and due any day now and if he missed the birth of his child he was going to never hear the end of it from her.

Probably not just her either. He knew his mom when on a roll had a tendency to bring up mistakes from the past. Like if she brought them up it could fix them.

Yet, Natalie had been right last night when she said there was no changing the past. There was only looking to the future which still scared Taylor because what did it all mean after last night anyway?

He was even more positive when he went back he'd just feel worse staying with Michelle but he also didn't see an out either. He still felt like he was stuck.

So for now what Taylor wanted to do was just spend one more day here in Georgia with Natalie. It was Halloween and while everyone else was pretending to be someone else he could stay here and be himself since every other day of the year it felt like he was pretending to be someone else now.

It seemed like a fair enough trade to him.

"I can feel you staring," Natalie spoke breaking Taylor from his thoughts and he felt a warmness on his cheeks as he blushed. Watching as she turned to look at him then with a bit of a smile on her face.

It was good to see her smile, hell it was good to see a smile from anyone right now. Taylor feeling like he saw so little smiles lately especially from the person he shared a bed with.

Then again smiles usually happened with love and he and Michelle weren't in love, or well, she may have been but he wasn't. Not with her.

"Sorry but it's not every day I get to wake up next to a beautiful girl," Taylor told her and he could feel the warmness on his cheeks spread. He knew that line was cheesy but it was the best one he had right now and it felt okay with where things were going or seemed to be going with him and Natalie.

She didn't seem like she was ready to shut him out after last night. Not with the smile on her face which grew at his words.

"That's such a line Taylor Hanson," Natalie teased him as she moved closer to him in the bed. "I think you used that on me the first night we spent together," she said and there was a dreamy look in her eye then.

Taylor wondering if she was remembering that night because he was.

They had both been drunk and it had been her Christmas vacation. Natalie flying out to visit him in Tulsa and somehow after the Christmas party where the punch had been spiked they had made their way downstairs where things had just happened between them naturally.

Taylor half sure he'd taken Natalie's virginity that night and a small part of himself wishing he'd been able to give her that bit of him too but he hadn't. He'd lost that a year before he met Natalie. 

It'd been with some random fan which maybe Taylor had always had a type. Girls or guys that fawned over him.

"You loved that line then if I remember right," Taylor told her as he let his forehead rest against hers. "Do you still love it now?" he questioned and while his tone was teasing he was afraid of her answer.

Then again he was afraid of anything she said right now. She had the power to shut him out as quickly as she let him in, especially if she remembered the wedding ring on his finger and the reason he was married.

Natalie was smart and she could just easily remind herself that Taylor was a fool who cheated and lost the one girl he thought he was forever in love with.

Zac had called him a fool for it, said he was dumb letting a goddess like Natalie get away which made Taylor almost laugh. Almost because he had been right.

He just hadn't expected that from Zac, especially him calling Natalie a goddess. He wouldn't have thought Natalie was Zac's type.

Zac based off his dating habits though he'd only dated two girls, Kate and Marion seemed to like them tall and brunette. Model types, not the girl next door types. Though Zac had once claimed he did like those types and that was why he never had a girlfriend.

He always said Taylor took his potential girls but if Taylor were being honest he thought Zac was full of shit now.

"No, I found it cheesy then Taylor and I still find it cheesy now," Natalie told him as a smile slowly worked its way onto her pink lips. "But I like cheesy," she whispered before leaning in to kiss him.

It was a chaste kiss but for Taylor it was enough. He'd take whatever he could get from Natalie since it was making him feel alive and like the person he wanted to be. 

It was half freeing.

When Natalie pulled away from the kiss and Taylor's embrace he just looked at her, knowing from the way her gaze turned serious that she had stuff to say. 

Stuff he wasn't sure he'd like but he'd hear it anyway.

"As much as I love having you here Tay, you really should head home," Natalie stated as she locked eyes with him. "Your wife is due any day now and what if you miss the labor?" she questioned and Taylor hated when his blush came back.

A blush that was brought on because he knew Natalie was judging him some even if she knew and understood his reasons for coming to Georgia.

"I won't miss it," Taylor told her sounding so sure of himself. "I just..I want to stay one more day Natalie," he said as he made himself look away from her gaze. "I'll leave tomorrow I promise. I'll have too anyway since I didn't bring anything with me but the clothes on my back and my wallet."

Natalie's eyebrows went high on her head at that statement. Like she was surprised that Taylor had came here with nothing but Taylor knew she shouldn't have been.

This was him and he was known for doing impulsive things. It was that habit that always got him into trouble and probably always would because some habits were hard to break.

"You really came here with nothing?"

Nodding his head Taylor moved so he could sit up some in Natalie's bed. "I really came here with nothing," he answered her honestly. "I figured I'd just wear the same clothes."

"For three days?" Natalie questioned sounding even more surprised by him and he was sure her eyebrows had inched their way off her forehead now. "They'll be stinking by the time you get back to Tulsa and I'll feel awful for everyone who has to be in your vicinity on the flight back."

Letting out a laugh Taylor shrugged, "Pretty sure Zac has done worse during one of his no shower for weeks phases," he sighed almost thankful his brother hadn't had a phase like that in awhile. 

Not since he started dating Kate but Kate was always nagging him and Zac was always trying to please her.

"No, that won't do even if Zac has done worse," Natalie said as she sat up as well. "Zac is Zac and you are Taylor and you usually hate rewearing clothes in the same week mister diva pants," she muttered and she was back to teasing him again.

Even going as far as using a nickname his own fans gave him but Natalie was known for stalking online Hanson fan hang outs. She had used to be and still was a fan after all.

Though Zac had been her favorite at first, until she met Taylor and then he'd become her favorite or so he told himself. He never asked her but she had dated him. She'd fallen in love with him and usually you fell in love with your favorite person in the world.

So that had to mean he was now her favorite Hanson member.

"Then what will do?" Taylor questioned as he quirked his lip up, waiting for the answer she gave him.

"We're going clothes shopping for you before the kids start trick or treating tonight. So that I can wash these and you won't stink on your flight back to Tulsa tomorrow."

Smirking at her words Taylor leaned in as he left a peck on her lips, "So that means I can stay?" he asked playfully knowing she had caved.

She was okay with him staying one more day even if she was afraid he'd miss the birth of his daughter. But Taylor had hope that Michelle would hold out. She was having his child and he was stubborn. 

Knowing their daughter she'd come past her due date just to cause trouble for Michelle.

"You can stay," Natalie nodded as she leaned in and pecked his lips again. "On one condition?" she asked keeping her forehead resting against his.

"What?" Taylor asked her and again his lip quirked upward.

"Take a shower with me before we go shopping," Natalie stated and Taylor wasn't dumb. He caught the insinuation in her voice.

She wanted to do more than take a shower with him.

"Deal," he stated before once again pecking her lips and this time when he pulled away he stepped out of her bed, "But the first person to the shower gets to orgasm first," he bargained as he started out the door.

Smirking as he heard Natalie complaining behind him that it wasn't fair because he had a head start. 

In the end her complaining they both knew would be for nothing because he'd let her come first. It was just the right thing to do.


	3. Chapter 3

Taylor couldn't help but smile as he caught his breath once Natalie had moved off him. Both of them laying in her bed that night after handing out candy. 

Taylor hadn't been able to contain himself once they were done. He just hadn't been able to take his hands off Natalie especially with the costume she had on. Some sexy little fairy number and the way she had done her hair was a look he hadn't seen on her before. 

His body just wanting her the moment he had seen her in it but he'd been good, he'd kept his hands to himself and waited until they were done and he'd gotten rewarded lovingly for it.

Natalie had rode him, fucked him like he hadn't been fucked in ages and he felt sated. Knowing he'd be good for a long time now and maybe it'd be enough to do him once he went back to Tulsa tomorrow.

At least for a few months.

"You check out on me there Taylor?" Natalie asked with a laugh as she brought Taylor out of his thoughts, a blush coating his cheeks.

"Maybe," Taylor revealed as he looked at her. "What gave it away?" he asked almost positive she hadn't said anything to him while he was checked out.

If she had she'd be mad and she didn't seem mad. Just amused that his mind had wandered so soon after sex.

"You got this far away look in your eye. You get it a lot when you start thinking," Natalie shrugged her shoulders with a tiny smile. "I was going to ask if you wanted something to eat though. I think sex with you made me work up an appetite."

Smiling, Taylor nodded his head, "Food sounds good," he told her watching as she slipped out of the bed after his words. His smile turning into a smirk because of course Natalie was going to walk down to her kitchen naked to get them food.

She'd never really cared about nudity not even when she'd had sex with him that first time and maybe that was another thing Taylor loved about her.

That despite looking like a shy girl next door she really was anything but that. 

Letting out a sigh he sat up some in her bed, propping his pillow up behind himself so he could lean against it as he waited on Natalie to return with food. His stomach choosing then to growl and let him know he was indeed hungry.

It seemed Natalie wasn't the only one who had worked up an appetite during sex.

Listening as he heard Natalie coming back, Taylor moved up against the pillows some more. His smile returning when Natalie came back carrying two plates with sandwiches on them.

"I hope turkey sandwiches are okay with you?"

"Turkey is fine with me," Taylor told her as he took the plate from her hands when she sat down beside him again on the bed. The both of them eating in a comfortable silence and again it was so much different than any time he'd been like this with Michelle.

There was never anything comfortable with their silences.

"You know," Taylor said breaking the silence. "I know you said we can't change the past but I'd do it if I could. I'd take back ever cheating on you or getting Michelle pregnant," he admitted feeling almost shitty. Almost.

On some level he had to be maybe shitty though because never getting Michelle pregnant meant he had to regret his baby on the way with her and some days he kind of did. 

He could only hope once the baby was here he'd at least soften to it though he knew he'd never soften to Michelle. It just wasn't he something he saw happening.

Natalie had opened her mouth to respond to him but before she could they both seemed to jump slightly when they heard the doorbell ringing almost incessantly from downstairs. Their eyes locking as they looked at each other.

"That's not children at this hour," Natalie sighed as she sat the plate with her half uneaten sandwich down on the nightstand before getting out of bed. "It's probably best if I get the door," she told him and Taylor wanted to object but again before he could the doorbell was ringing again.

Taylor deciding then that he wouldn't object because what if it was an emergency in Natalie's family somehow. Her parents were out of town and she had mentioned casually today that Matt was staying at a friends house while they were gone. Though Taylor figured if it was an emergency they could call.

But he knew better than to protest so instead of doing that he got out of her bed too. Moving to find his own clothes as Natalie slipped some clothes on as well.

"If you're going down there then I'm going with you. For all we know it could be some psycho, it's Halloween."

Natalie laughed at Taylor's words, "Are you scared Michael Meyers will get me?" she questioned after she had dressed. "Afraid you'll find me all sliced and diced with a knife?" 

"Maybe," Taylor blushed at Natalie's teasing. "Zac's made me watch one too many horror movies. It's better to be safe."

Natalie only shook her head but she stayed in the room until Taylor was done dressing. Taylor following behind her as she lead the way down to her door.

His breath seeming to stop as she opened the door, only letting it out once it was opened and he saw Kate standing there a look of relief on her face when the door was open and she saw him which was odd because Kate was never relieved to see him ever.

"Kate?" Natalie asked sounding curious. "What are you doing here at this time of night?"

"Zac called me," Kate answered and to Taylor she sounded as if that should explain everything. "He was freaking out because you had left without telling anyone where you were going," she continued as she settled her gaze on Taylor. "He had a feeling you were here and I guess he was right."

Raising an eyebrow Taylor let his gaze move from Kate as he blushed. "So you came here because Zac called you freaking out?" he questioned having to bite his tongue to ask why.

It wasn't like she ever seemed to care when Zac lost his mind before.

"Not just because of that. I came to tell you why Zac called me freaking out," Kate sighed like she was already fed up with him. "Michelle is in labor and has been for hours," she revealed and this information made Taylor's head shoot up as he eyed Kate to see if she were teasing him.

Though he knew as much of a bitch as she was even she wouldn't play around like that. His wife was in labor and he was missing most of it, it seemed.

"They're sure?" Taylor asked a little uneasy as his heartbeat begin to beat a bit faster in his chest. Something akin to anxiety kicking in.

"They're sure," Kate nodded. "She's been admitted to a hospital in Tulsa and everything."

Nodding his head Taylor felt his heart rate increase as well as his breathing getting heavier and again there was that feeling of something akin to anxiety. Something he wasn't sure he'd felt before not even on the wedding day that he hadn't wanted.

"Taylor," Natalie spoke as she turned to face him and Taylor was vaguely aware of the sadness written on her face and he wasn't sure if she was sad for him or sad that reality had kicked in during their time together. "You really need to head to the airport now and get the next flight to Tulsa."

"I know," Taylor muttered through his hysterical breathing as he looked at Natalie. Closing his eyes when she rested a hand gently on his arm, her touch comforting him in ways he couldn't describe. "I...I can't go alone though. I can't do this alone Nat."

"Your family will be there for you Taylor," Natalie told him and even without seeing her face he was sure besides her sadness there would be a knowing look on her face too.

It was just how Natalie was.

Opening his eyes he frowned as he looked at her, "I know but it's not them I need. I..I need you, can you please come with me?" he asked knowing the moment the request was out of his mouth that he was asking a lot from her.

Natalie's face softened some but a sadness still remained on there, "Please don't ask that of me Taylor," she sighed with a shake of her head. "I can't."

"And why can't you?" Taylor questioned though deep down he knew. He knew exactly why but he still wanted to hear it from her.

He wanted to hear her say that being there wasn't right for her. That she'd be intruding on his new family that he didn't even want. He wanted to hear that so he could feel even more sorry for himself it seemed.

He did love a good fucking pity party.

"Because I can't say no to you," Natalie answered and okay that wasn't the words he'd been expecting from her. "And if I go and regret things I can't change them later..." she trailed off as she took her hand off his arm then.

"Because you can never change the past," Taylor continued for her, remembering her words from the day he had shown up here.

If she went and regretted whatever happened in Tulsa thanks to the fallout of her being there then she couldn't take it back later.

"Right," Natalie nodded. "So please don't ask me to go again," she told him and Taylor wanted to obey her especially after how kind she had been to him but he needed her there.

He needed his lifeline and she was that for him.

"Please come with me," Taylor spoke again and he knew from the look on Natalie's face she'd broken. She would head to Tulsa with him.

"This isn't going to end well," Kate retorted from where she was still standing in the open doorway and Taylor hated to admit that for once she was probably right.

It would just make her feel she was always right and she wasn't especially when her words cut Zac to the bone sometimes.

Ignoring her he just reached out and pulled Natalie into a brief a hug. No words being spoken because none needed to be. Her face and the silence said it all.

She was coming with him and he was thankful and he wanted to show her that.


End file.
